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Writer's pictureConsciousness Studio

The Golden Rule of Communication: Acknowledging the Person, Not Just the Problem by Isaac Cherian

Isaac Cherian, Edmonton

Consciousness Studio - The Centre for Psychological Services


Interpersonal communication from a Consciousness Perspective (CPe) emphasizes the significance of addressing the personal aspects of an individual before delving into the topic of discussion. At its core, this approach recognizes that each person is more than just a bearer of issues or problems; they are complex beings with emotions, thoughts, relationships, and a unique cultural and social context. By acknowledging the personhood of individuals, communication becomes more respectful, empathetic, and effective.


Consider a scenario where a manager needs to address a subordinate's performance issue. Taking a CPe approach, the manager begins the conversation by expressing genuine concern for the individual's well-being. Rather than jumping straight into the problem, the manager acknowledges the person's feelings and experiences, recognizing that performance issues can be stressful and may impact the individual on a personal level.


For instance, the manager might start by saying, "I've noticed that you've been struggling with meeting your targets lately, and I wanted to check in with you to see how you're doing. I understand that there could be various factors affecting your performance, and I want to make sure you feel supported in addressing them."


In this example, the manager demonstrates an understanding of the person behind the performance issue. By acknowledging the individual's feelings, thoughts, and potential external pressures, the manager creates a safe space for open discussion. This approach fosters trust and encourages the individual to share their perspective, concerns, and any challenges they may be facing.


Conversely, if the manager were to ignore the personal aspect and simply focus on the performance problem without considering the individual's feelings and context, it could lead to defensiveness, resentment, and a breakdown in communication.


Continuing with the scenario, if the manager were to approach the conversation without acknowledging the personhood of the subordinate, they might say something like, "You're not meeting your targets, and it's becoming a problem. You need to improve or face consequences."

This approach lacks empathy and fails to recognize the individual as more than just an employee with performance issues. It disregards the potential reasons behind the performance issues and overlooks the individual's feelings, which can lead to a defensive response and hinder the possibility of constructive dialogue.


In essence, the CPe approach emphasizes the importance of treating individuals with respect and empathy in all forms of communication. Whether addressing performance issues, conflicts, or any other topic, acknowledging the personhood of individuals creates a foundation of mutual understanding and trust.


Furthermore, the CPe approach extends beyond professional settings and applies to interpersonal interactions in everyday life. When individuals feel seen, heard, and respected, they are more likely to engage openly and collaboratively in conversations. On the contrary, dismissing or invalidating the personal aspects of individuals can lead to strained relationships, misunderstandings, and conflict.


In conclusion, the Consciousness Perspective in interpersonal communication underscores the significance of addressing the personal before delving into the issue at hand. By recognizing the personhood of individuals and creating a safe and empathetic environment for communication, meaningful dialogue can occur, fostering understanding, collaboration, and positive relationships. This approach not only applies to professional settings but also to interactions in all facets of life, highlighting the transformative power of respectful and empathetic communication.


By Isaac Cherian, Registered Psychologist



Consciousness Studio - The Centre for Psychological Services


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